Calling Former Catholics: Why Did You Leave the Church?
Posted by Catherine Favazza - 08/09/09 at 10:08 pm
I’ve always been interested in what motivates people–and lately, I can’t stop thinking about religious motivations. Why do folks who are raised Catholic stop going to Mass? Marry outside the Church? When people stop going to Mass for a long time, what makes them come back?
Any Catholics out there who no longer attend Mass on a regular basis or have otherwise left the Church, why? Please respond to my poll below and, if you’re comfortable, explain in a little more detail in the comments section.
If you’re a practicing Catholic and have friends who don’t go to Mass anymore, please share this poll with them.
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16 Responses to “Calling Former Catholics: Why Did You Leave the Church?”
This poll is a great idea. I left the Catholic Church after I visited a Local Baptist church. I have never felt welcome in a Catholic Church like I did in this new Baptist church I am now a member of. I have been in Catholic churches around the world. Never was I so welcomed as this Baptist Church. I know that my current Baptist Church truly helps out its members. I have been unemployed for over a year now. This Church has stepped up to the plate. Even today I was handed $100.00 for assistance. All donated anonymously. It is truly a body of Christ. When the Catholics can start taking care of the church body that is suffering right with in their own doors. then maybe that would help them with retention. I have never seen that type of love expressed to fellow Church goers in the Catholic Church.
I married a Methodist. I usually go to church with him on Sunday. If I can get away for a late Sunday mass or Saturday Mass, I will, but I don’t go on a regular basis. Growing up, my parents were different religions, my mom Catholic, dad Church of Christ. I was never allowed by my dad to get involved in the Catholic youth functions. I could not receive First Communion until I was in college. I was criticized by Baptist and Church of Christ friends, telling me that Catholics apparently aren’t Christian and a bunch of other lies. Now, it’s important for both my husband and I to go to church together. He’s not going to convert to Catholicism, or be happy in Mass. So I go with him, and go alone to Mass when I can.
Bill, I agree with your statement on Baptists vs Catholics. That’s why I’d much rather my money go to a Catholic church than even the government. I’d like to know that the people are being helped long term.
First, when I was old enough to think and look at the churches history it was full of hypocrites. Second, its abuses of indigenous people. Third, it calls for love, then bans homosexuals and gays.
The Church is not about religion, it is about control, money, and more money.
Long before the abuse scandals, I had felt that the liberalization of the church had rendered it as just another social group, especially in my parish.
Their actions and agitation turned me off to such a degree that I felt it wasn’t remotely the church that I grew up with in my formative years.
Although I no longer identify with any religion, I do not foster any negative sentiment toward my experiences as a member of the Catholic church. Both of my parents were raised Catholic (attending middle, high school, as well as a Catholic college)and we were all baptized and confirmed. I think my true falling out came when I was 14; someone very close to me underwent something that my faith had taught me to abhor. However my love for that family member is unwavering, and so I felt I could no longer truly be accepted as a Catholic, since I have been unable to find a genuine identification of “compassionate Catholic.” College turned me off to it even more, as the holier-than-thou-ness was rampant and at times vicious. I never felt welcome at the university chapel and was truly demoralized by the attitudes and cruelty of those students who identified themselves as the true Catholic representation of our university.
I was raised Catholic but I stopped going to mass when I became old enough to learn about the world around me and see the damage that the Catholic Church has done to it. For the sake of brevity I’ll overlook transgressions like the Spanish Inquisition and just add that it makes it difficult to believe in the infallibility of the church.
The Churches’ stance on birth control has lead to overpopulation in parts of the world that are predominantly Catholic. This has led to strains on the recourses and environments in those areas and has strained the countries and organizations that provide them aid. It has led to the continued proliferation of AIDS, starvation, economic destabilization and war.
The Churches’ handling of the cases of abuse was deplorable. For the shockingly large number of cases that came to the forefront there likely as many cases that were successfully repressed and have never come to light. The Church had a great deal of information in very many of these cases and willfully obfuscated the truth for many years and went to great lengths to protect the perpetrators and, in many cases, established them with a clean slate and a choice opportunity to reoffend. The act of intentional suppressing the facts and actively protecting the offenders makes the church complicit. This was not a “scandal”, a “scandal” is sleeping with the married neighbor. This was a series of brutal crimes against mostly children that was committed and covered up by an organization that claims to speak for God.
The Church has a long and storied history of the subjugation of women. The Churches’ draconian stance on divorce ensures that women are continually viewed as property. It prevents women and their children from leaving abusive relationships and in very many cases has helped to hide abusive relationships from public authority. Instead of helping these women find safety the Church usually recommends religious couples counseling, typically mediated by a priest with no marital experience or formal psychology education.
Nuns are often housed in the poorest and most modest quarters in line with their vow of poverty. Priests often drive late model luxury cars and live in comparative opulence in large homes, some with personal gyms and hot tubs.
The current Pope, Benedict XVI was “infallibly” selected. He wears Gucci and Prada. He was in the Hitler Youth.
So, in my opinion the Church is a dangerously powerful political and money making venture that has always served it’s needs at the cost of the well being of its people and the world.
I was born, baptised and raised Catholic (1st Communion, but not confirmation) and left for the PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) at the behest of my mother, who was tired of the “distant” nature of our local parish.
The PCA was my home church (and still is) from about age 10 to now. I was a typical evangelical convert, suspicious about Rome and all things papal.
In recent years, I have come to deeply appreciate our Catholic brothers and sisters in Christ and have really gotten a much better understanding of Church Tradition, Church Fathers and all those typically “Catholic” things.
A friend who was in Seminary to become a priest was instrumental in my softening to the Roman Catholic point of view.
I’d probably never go back, but I consider all Catholics that are believers in Jesus Christ my siblings.
I answered the poll with the first choice (switching religions), although there is more to the story. I went through 12 years of Catholic schools and have an extended family that still considers itself Catholic. After all the training and learning in the Catholic system, I finally met my Savior while attending church in a different denomination. It was not so much the church itself, but the idea that you could have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that made the difference. I find that those I know in the Catholic faith are too caught up in the rituals and obligation and not taught about or encouraged to seek this relationship. And, I am ostracized by the same family although I am the only member regularly attending church.
I am not Catholic and have never been, but I grew up in a very catholic neighborhood, and many of my circle of friends and family, including my ex-wife, grew up Catholic.
My ex left the church because it offered her nothing BUT guilt for her various past transgressions; “forgiveness” is a distant afterthought. There’s also the little matter of all the parts of Catholic theology – limbo, purgatory, saints, the Pope, praying to the Virgin Mary – that never actually turn up in the Bible.
I looked at the CHurch when I was younger, and opted not to join for all of the above reasons, as well as some theological ones. I am a Presbyterian now. It just makes more sense.
Also, there’s some politics involved. THe commenter above was wrong – it wasn’t the lack of birth control that led to overpopulation – it was poverty. But it’s hard to miss the fact that all of the parts of the world that were colonized by Catholics are intensely dysfunctional, impoverished, and beset with dictators. I find it inescapable to conclude that had the US been a predominantly Catholic country, we’d have never written a Declaration of Independence or the Constitution that we have.
That said, I have immense respect for many of my Catholic friends, relatives, and have always admired John Paul II.
I have nothing against the Catholic Church, I just stopped believing in God, and thus have fallen away from the Church. If for some strange unforeseen reason, I regain my belief (which I doubt will happen) then I would return to being a Catholic, not a member of another faith.
Actually “anonymous” I am not wrong. I never claimed that the Church was solely responsible for overpopulation the world over. They are however responsible for very many specific overpopulation problems. There are certainly areas of the world that are impoverished and Catholic but in very many of those cases birth control has been made available to those populations at no cost but was refused and some times even met with violent agression. In fact this has been such a hot button topic for the Church that their official stance has been to deny that overpopulation can even be a problem. If you’re feeling cheeky type “myth of overpopulation” into any search browser and spend the rest of the day reading all about how overpopulation is an atheist lie and the world can easily support 40 billion or more little catholic wallets.
Catherine Favazza is a Republican Internet strategist and former editor who lives near Washington, D.C. and loves to write, cook and play tourist. Read More>>
August 9th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
This poll is a great idea. I left the Catholic Church after I visited a Local Baptist church. I have never felt welcome in a Catholic Church like I did in this new Baptist church I am now a member of. I have been in Catholic churches around the world. Never was I so welcomed as this Baptist Church. I know that my current Baptist Church truly helps out its members. I have been unemployed for over a year now. This Church has stepped up to the plate. Even today I was handed $100.00 for assistance. All donated anonymously. It is truly a body of Christ. When the Catholics can start taking care of the church body that is suffering right with in their own doors. then maybe that would help them with retention. I have never seen that type of love expressed to fellow Church goers in the Catholic Church.
God Bless!
August 9th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Thanks for your very thoughtful comment, Edward!
August 10th, 2009 at 5:58 am
Masses in the DC area suck. If I wanted to sit through an hour and a half mass, or a latin mass every sunday, I would have become a monk or a priest.
August 10th, 2009 at 6:02 am
Edward,
Instead of direct financial assistance (i.e. cash), Catholics tend to believe in the adage of “teach a man to fish” instead of “just give fish”.
That’s a big difference between Baptists and Catholics.
August 10th, 2009 at 7:58 am
I married a Methodist. I usually go to church with him on Sunday. If I can get away for a late Sunday mass or Saturday Mass, I will, but I don’t go on a regular basis. Growing up, my parents were different religions, my mom Catholic, dad Church of Christ. I was never allowed by my dad to get involved in the Catholic youth functions. I could not receive First Communion until I was in college. I was criticized by Baptist and Church of Christ friends, telling me that Catholics apparently aren’t Christian and a bunch of other lies. Now, it’s important for both my husband and I to go to church together. He’s not going to convert to Catholicism, or be happy in Mass. So I go with him, and go alone to Mass when I can.
Bill, I agree with your statement on Baptists vs Catholics. That’s why I’d much rather my money go to a Catholic church than even the government. I’d like to know that the people are being helped long term.
August 10th, 2009 at 9:31 am
First, when I was old enough to think and look at the churches history it was full of hypocrites. Second, its abuses of indigenous people. Third, it calls for love, then bans homosexuals and gays.
The Church is not about religion, it is about control, money, and more money.
First rule, though shall not be hypocrites.
August 10th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Long before the abuse scandals, I had felt that the liberalization of the church had rendered it as just another social group, especially in my parish.
Their actions and agitation turned me off to such a degree that I felt it wasn’t remotely the church that I grew up with in my formative years.
August 10th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Although I no longer identify with any religion, I do not foster any negative sentiment toward my experiences as a member of the Catholic church. Both of my parents were raised Catholic (attending middle, high school, as well as a Catholic college)and we were all baptized and confirmed. I think my true falling out came when I was 14; someone very close to me underwent something that my faith had taught me to abhor. However my love for that family member is unwavering, and so I felt I could no longer truly be accepted as a Catholic, since I have been unable to find a genuine identification of “compassionate Catholic.” College turned me off to it even more, as the holier-than-thou-ness was rampant and at times vicious. I never felt welcome at the university chapel and was truly demoralized by the attitudes and cruelty of those students who identified themselves as the true Catholic representation of our university.
August 10th, 2009 at 10:24 am
I was raised Catholic but I stopped going to mass when I became old enough to learn about the world around me and see the damage that the Catholic Church has done to it. For the sake of brevity I’ll overlook transgressions like the Spanish Inquisition and just add that it makes it difficult to believe in the infallibility of the church.
The Churches’ stance on birth control has lead to overpopulation in parts of the world that are predominantly Catholic. This has led to strains on the recourses and environments in those areas and has strained the countries and organizations that provide them aid. It has led to the continued proliferation of AIDS, starvation, economic destabilization and war.
The Churches’ handling of the cases of abuse was deplorable. For the shockingly large number of cases that came to the forefront there likely as many cases that were successfully repressed and have never come to light. The Church had a great deal of information in very many of these cases and willfully obfuscated the truth for many years and went to great lengths to protect the perpetrators and, in many cases, established them with a clean slate and a choice opportunity to reoffend. The act of intentional suppressing the facts and actively protecting the offenders makes the church complicit. This was not a “scandal”, a “scandal” is sleeping with the married neighbor. This was a series of brutal crimes against mostly children that was committed and covered up by an organization that claims to speak for God.
The Church has a long and storied history of the subjugation of women. The Churches’ draconian stance on divorce ensures that women are continually viewed as property. It prevents women and their children from leaving abusive relationships and in very many cases has helped to hide abusive relationships from public authority. Instead of helping these women find safety the Church usually recommends religious couples counseling, typically mediated by a priest with no marital experience or formal psychology education.
Nuns are often housed in the poorest and most modest quarters in line with their vow of poverty. Priests often drive late model luxury cars and live in comparative opulence in large homes, some with personal gyms and hot tubs.
The current Pope, Benedict XVI was “infallibly” selected. He wears Gucci and Prada. He was in the Hitler Youth.
So, in my opinion the Church is a dangerously powerful political and money making venture that has always served it’s needs at the cost of the well being of its people and the world.
August 10th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
I was born, baptised and raised Catholic (1st Communion, but not confirmation) and left for the PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) at the behest of my mother, who was tired of the “distant” nature of our local parish.
The PCA was my home church (and still is) from about age 10 to now. I was a typical evangelical convert, suspicious about Rome and all things papal.
In recent years, I have come to deeply appreciate our Catholic brothers and sisters in Christ and have really gotten a much better understanding of Church Tradition, Church Fathers and all those typically “Catholic” things.
A friend who was in Seminary to become a priest was instrumental in my softening to the Roman Catholic point of view.
I’d probably never go back, but I consider all Catholics that are believers in Jesus Christ my siblings.
August 10th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
I answered the poll with the first choice (switching religions), although there is more to the story. I went through 12 years of Catholic schools and have an extended family that still considers itself Catholic. After all the training and learning in the Catholic system, I finally met my Savior while attending church in a different denomination. It was not so much the church itself, but the idea that you could have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that made the difference. I find that those I know in the Catholic faith are too caught up in the rituals and obligation and not taught about or encouraged to seek this relationship. And, I am ostracized by the same family although I am the only member regularly attending church.
August 10th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
I am not Catholic and have never been, but I grew up in a very catholic neighborhood, and many of my circle of friends and family, including my ex-wife, grew up Catholic.
My ex left the church because it offered her nothing BUT guilt for her various past transgressions; “forgiveness” is a distant afterthought. There’s also the little matter of all the parts of Catholic theology – limbo, purgatory, saints, the Pope, praying to the Virgin Mary – that never actually turn up in the Bible.
I looked at the CHurch when I was younger, and opted not to join for all of the above reasons, as well as some theological ones. I am a Presbyterian now. It just makes more sense.
Also, there’s some politics involved. THe commenter above was wrong – it wasn’t the lack of birth control that led to overpopulation – it was poverty. But it’s hard to miss the fact that all of the parts of the world that were colonized by Catholics are intensely dysfunctional, impoverished, and beset with dictators. I find it inescapable to conclude that had the US been a predominantly Catholic country, we’d have never written a Declaration of Independence or the Constitution that we have.
That said, I have immense respect for many of my Catholic friends, relatives, and have always admired John Paul II.
August 11th, 2009 at 10:11 am
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August 11th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
I have nothing against the Catholic Church, I just stopped believing in God, and thus have fallen away from the Church. If for some strange unforeseen reason, I regain my belief (which I doubt will happen) then I would return to being a Catholic, not a member of another faith.
August 11th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
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August 11th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Actually “anonymous” I am not wrong. I never claimed that the Church was solely responsible for overpopulation the world over. They are however responsible for very many specific overpopulation problems. There are certainly areas of the world that are impoverished and Catholic but in very many of those cases birth control has been made available to those populations at no cost but was refused and some times even met with violent agression. In fact this has been such a hot button topic for the Church that their official stance has been to deny that overpopulation can even be a problem. If you’re feeling cheeky type “myth of overpopulation” into any search browser and spend the rest of the day reading all about how overpopulation is an atheist lie and the world can easily support 40 billion or more little catholic wallets.